"We have an invasion on our Northern border. They have crossed the border and are now inside our territory."
They were sitting around the table. The Leader sat at the head of the table. The man responsible for defence of the nation, the one they called 'Clean' was updating the rest of the people at the table. The Leader, sitting at the head of the table, sighed.
"What do we do?" asked the Leader.
"I want a road and a railway line going right to the edge of our Northern border so we can move the Army into position. I want attack helicopters to fight in the high altitude Northern border where fighter jets cannot operate" Clean said.
The Leader turned to the others assembled "Can you give Clean what he wants?"
The men in charge of Railways, helicopters, the Army all confirmed that they could do what Clean wanted. Then the three of them looked at each other and the one in charge of Railways nodded and spoke up.
Railway man "We can give anything Clean wants but we need cash counting machines. We are short of cash counting machines."
The Leader, puzzled, asks "Cash counting machines?"
Railway man "Leader saab, aap to janthay hi hain. Any contract we award, we take cash. And we all know that our neighbours in the North, who have now turned invaders, have been supplying our cash counting machines. But for the last few months, they have stopped selling cash counting machines. Without cash counting machines, we cannot award contracts. No contracts awarded, no railways, no helicopters, no coal, no electricity, no telephones, no nothing. The country is suffering from a shortage of cash machines. With no cash machines, how do you expect the country to fight the invaders. We suspect the invaders have been cutting off our supply of cash counting machines exactly for this reason".
The Leader thinks for a moment. "But our investigation agency has a lot of cash counting machines. Why don't we ask them for it?"
Railway man "Sirji, Court has asked us not to talk to the investigation agency".
The Leader sighs, looks around the table to see if anyone else has a suggestion. One of the men at the table, the one they call the Fixer says "Sir, may I make a suggestion".
The Leader thinks for a moment. "But our investigation agency has a lot of cash counting machines. Why don't we ask them for it?"
Railway man "Sirji, Court has asked us not to talk to the investigation agency".
The Leader sighs, looks around the table to see if anyone else has a suggestion. One of the men at the table, the one they call the Fixer says "Sir, may I make a suggestion".
Leader "Go ahead."
"We can convert all the land the invaders have occupied into housing sites. Then Damaadji can offer to buy the sites from invaders for a high price. The invaders will be tempted to sell. Once acquired by Damaadji, he can do joint venture with big real estate company and sell it to Indians as holiday homes at very high price. Rich Indians will buy it, vaisay bhi Dilli may garmi ka mausam chal rahan hain. Barf dikha ke marketing karengay tho people will buy. Damaadji bhi kush, ham bhi kush, North waley bhi kush. No need for railway, helicopter, Army. So no need for cash machine also."
Railway man and Army man sit up. Railway man whispers to Army man "Kis Damaadji key baray main baath kar rahan hain yeh? Hamarey Damaad to real estate me nahin ghustay hain."
Fixer turns to Railway man and Army man and with a sly grin "Mai aap kay Damaado kay barey may baath nahin kar raha tha."
Leader now looking relieved and with a half smile. "Fixer, you are a genius. Damaadji yeh kar saktey hain. Let me call Queen Bee and check".
Others at the table "Who is Queen Bee?"
Others at the table "Who is Queen Bee?"
Fixer "You fellows will never learn. In a beehive there is only one Queen Bee. Every other bee is a worker bee. Who do you think is Queen Bee?"
Meanwhile at a tea shop nearby ...
Mango Public 1: "How do you think we should stop the invaders"
Mango Public 2: "Simple. Every year Kumbh Mela venue changes. This year, announce that the Kumbh Mela is in the North, near where the invaders are camped. When 100 million people visit the place, the invaders will leave."
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